Lately life seems to be flying by at record speeds and my brother’s facebook post of “we officially run shit!!grade 12!! haha” this morning really solidified this fact. He’s 8 years younger than me and on my graduation day I remember thinking “I’ll be SOOO old by the time he graduates”. And the day has almost come. His stories of parties also reminds me that I’m not as young as I once was and really, neither is he. I never really thought that the kid that loves Pokemon would be driving a fancy truck and going to Jersey Shore themed parties, and trying to navigate the same path, of what to be in life, as me
Over the past couple of months I’ve really been contemplating what I plan on doing with my life and my mind continually changes – Finish my Social Work degree then move on to MBA one day, Bachelors of Social Work then Masters of Social Work another. Maybe I should be a teacher? A Lawyer? A psychologist? A writer…? What am I going to be?
I’ve tried logically thinking things through, but what little help that’s been. When I was about to graduate high school I told my mom that I thought I should take a year off and work before going to University. She told me I had to go right after high school otherwise I wouldn’t go back. So I went and completed my degree. Now, a year and a half after I finished my first degree I’d love to go back to school full time, but with adult life comes bills and other responsibilities that make it difficult to go back to school. She was right – you get used to a certain lifestyle and going back isn’t easy.
I’m also in the midst of a potential career change which is hampering my efforts to complete ( or even begin!) my Social Work Degree. Why can’t I find a job that would allow me to take at least TWO classes a semester while working and pay me a good wage? Will Social Work even help me with my life goals? I dunno…. maybe… It sure wouldn’t help if I was a lawyer… but that’s beside the point.
In my heart of hearts I’d love to take as many degrees as possible to be fully prepared for whatever I chose to be. I’d love to get a PhD in Social Work or Counselling or something like that. But Tony and I have just started our “Adult” life together and I don’t know if I’m ready to shake that up yet. We’re just getting settled. I graduated a year ago and he just graduated this past Spring. We’re finally not living the student life. Unfortunately when that starts, the bills start too.
We keep saying “In ten years when we own our house…” In ten years when we have no debt…” “In ten years…”. Although this is somewhat consoling to know that there is an end in sight; it doesn’t do much for the current situation.
I like goals and paths and knowing where I’m going. Right now I’m in the middle of an open field with no direction and although I know that something will come up to help me decide, I don’t know what to do for the short term.
In the mean time, I’m working on my other life plans. I’m currently learning French, planning our trip to complete the Camino de Santiago in 2012 and focusing my energy on trying not to think about work so much.
What do you want to be when you grow up? If you’re already grown, did you take the risk to become what you really wanted to be?